It has been pretty much a whole two weeks since I purchased this lovely marble pink nail vanish with the intention of painting both my toes and finger nails. It has been two weeks and every nail on my body remains untouched.
I question myself, will that bottle ever be opened and whether I have wasted more money on something that I do not need. But then again, I really did like it, and when I feel that warmth and excitement about an item in a shop, then I buy it. In contrast to when I am unsure of whether I like an item and stand there for ten minutes battling with myself on whether I will regret a purchase. So, I really need to find ten minutes alone, without any chores that need to be done, and when all my children are either asleep or fully engrossed in something other than requesting food. Gosh my kids do not stop eating. They are three very active boys who can eat and eat and eat and always look fit and healthy.
I think this is probably the biggest problem that I have; finding time to care for myself. Ok fair enough, painting your nails isn’t always on the top of peoples To-Do list, but I guess what I am saying is that the simple personal pleasures always seem to be overlooked. Whenever I do get a minute or two to myself I tend to make myself a cut of tea, with a biscuit (naught pleasure) and pick up my phone and waste an hour doing unproductive stuff like online shopping for stuff I do not need, and googling the most random things out of curiosity.
As a mother of a 6 and 2-year-old plus an almost 8 month old, I feel like I am constantly running around after them. Making sure that they are dressed in clean clothes, fed, teeth are brushed, at school on time, I never seem to be able to take good care of myself. Well not as well as I would like. I wake in the morning and shove on clothes that I think are half decent to wear, not realising till the evening that what I though was a passable outfit choice, was to my horror, hideous and too small. I haven’t had a chance to work on getting rid of the excess baby weight around my waist (lame excuse I know) but still haven’t realised that I cannot and quite possibly should not wear slim fitting, clingy clothing. I hung my head in shame this evening after catching a glimpse of the outline of my belly button hole and the fat bulging over the sides of my leggings underneath my fitted jersey dress.
Thank god for Parker coats. My saving grace.
And then I only went and looked at my face and noticed that my eyebrows were somewhere between freshly plucked and fully grown out. Making the oh so difficult choice between fixing my eyebrows or painting my toes…. Hmmm it was a tough one. After soaking in the bath for 5 minutes (I really cannot do longer than that as I start to feel like I am soaking in my own dirt and dead skin, Yuk!) I decided. The eyebrows it was. It’s amazing how it makes me feel almost 100% better. I smiled once I had finished. To me, my face seemed brighter. This was probably because I removed half the hair, but also because I was truly happy with myself for taking the time to do this. The time to really take care of myself for ten minutes. I loved how I looked, and I loved how I felt. The feeling of stress and fatigue lifted slightly and I feel less ‘rough’. I think maybe it is worth spending ten minutes every day while my kids are in bed, to look after myself. Or even plan my outfit for the nest morning. I honestly thought that when I cleared out heaps upon heaps of clothes a few months back, that I got rid of all the things that didn’t spark joy for me anymore including all the items that I didn’t believe fit very well and were too small. Obviously not. My wardrobe I think need to be reassessed. I do not have a clue anymore on what to wear and I have absolutely no idea what my style is or where to start. I may just donate everything apart from a pair of trousers and a top so that I can go shopping and start from scratch.
It is so important to take care of yourself. I have even forgotten to take my daily meds because I have been so preoccupied by making sure that everyone else is ok. It doesn’t matter whether you have children or not, but if you start to feel like you’re losing your ‘me’ time because you are so busy or caught up in doing something else, ten minutes a day should be a must. And do not deny yourself of that ten minutes because it is so very important, and it can also change your mood in so many ways. Tomorrow I think I may dig out that magic in a bottle and paint my toes at least.