Growing Pains.

Where does the time go? I mean really? When you’re stuck at home with no job, no friends, no real purpose in life! Gosh I do not understand what people do all day when they have no job and actually like to spend their lives living on the doll and never having to lift their fingers to work. I am getting bored and pretty much losing my mind. I feel trapped and unable to do anything. I am almost fourteen weeks pregnant and finding this pregnancy harder than when I was having my first born over four years ago. I constantly feel sick, horrible and occasionally depressed. I have looked for a part time job but a lot of those jobs are shop jobs that require you to stand on your feet for numerous hours a day and I cannot physically do that.

 I graduated from university just under three months ago and since then I have wrecked my brain as to what I will do with my life. Finding out was pregnant has changed things a bit to. Although this is what we had planned, the reality of it all has definitely had its surprises. I have felt quite depressed on several occasions and have regretted the decision to have another child but what can you do? I don’t ever see myself getting an abortion and knew that route was never going to be an option.

More and more I have been thinking about my life and where it will take me. More and more I have been thinking about the options and decisions have already made in my life and am starting to wonder whether those choices where the right ones. I suppose some people would say that I did the clever thing by doing A levels and gong to university, but frankly, at this present moment in time I am very much regretting that. I think maybe more so the subject choices. Maybe if I had done something that was more vocational and practical after school, so then maybe I would have already have built some sort of career. At least have a job behind me. I haven’t worked since I was nineteen. I am twenty four and expecting baby number two. Pram faced young mother!

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